Knees Up Mother Earth by Robert Rankin

Author:Robert Rankin [Rankin, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: sf_humor, Fiction, Fantasy, General, Science Fiction, Humorous, Humorous Stories
ISBN: 9780575073159
Publisher: Gollancz
Published: 2004-09-30T07:17:14+00:00

The metal shutter slid aside and an eyeball peered in through the eyehole and into the prison cell.

Where Norman sat, the very picture of dejection.

“On your feet, prisoner,” called the voice of Constable Meek. “You’re going home.”

Norman dragged himself to his feet, which wasn’t easy, for his knees were still numb and his finger-ends likewise. Constable Meek dragged open the door and grinned upon the slammed-up shopkeeper.

“Peg?” said Norman. “Has Peg bailed me out?”

“No,” said the constable. “Some big swell from the city.”

Norman shook his bewigged, befuddled head. “I don’t know any big city swells.”

“Well, he knows you and he’s outside in his car. You’re being chauffeured home.”

“Oh,” said Norman. “It’s a long straight road that has no turning.”

“Yeah, and a trouble shared can get you five years in Strangeways.”

Norman took up his jacket from the bed and shrugged it on.

“Normally,” said Constable Meek, “myself and Constable Mild would give you a summary beating with our truncheons to teach you the error of your ways and to discourage you from further wrong-doing, but Constable Mild has the day off and it’s no fun doing it on your own.” Constable Meek handed Norman his duffel bags. “Go forth and sin no more,” he told him.

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